Randy: My father worked long hours at Anheuser-Busch as a machinist, instilling in me a belief in thoroughness, directness, and dedication.
I recall never taking family vacations because of my father’s demanding work schedule and the expenses of raising five children. I inherited my father’s meticulous nature and acknowledge a “perfectionist” streak that I still maintain. My brother, who was more impatient, clashed at times with our father’s methodical approach.
Dad died from cancer at the too-early age of 56, but he left Mom financially stable for the remainder of her life. What a blessing!
My wonderful mother, Laverne, grew up in a family of ten children. Forced to leave home at age 18 for financial reasons, she consistently displayed gratitude for all she had.
She worked well into her late 80s for State Farm Agents and never complained about any hardship. She embodied selflessness and humility, and she bravely, strongly, persevered after my father passed away at 56. The generosity and quiet endurance she displayed became core values that were instilled in me.
Catholic Upbringing and Faith Transition
Although my mother was a devout Catholic, I began questioning certain religious doctrines, like purgatory, during college. Years later, Jan and I sought a church family that resonated with us. We found Grace Church and began attending, where we appreciated the pastor’s lively preaching style.
Out of deference to my mother, we postponed our adult baptisms until after her passing. It was a step we felt “called to take” once we discovered a new dimension of Christianity.
Jan: My father suffered from alcoholism and the challenges it created. Despite his addiction, he worked at TWA for 42 years and never missed a single day. He taught me the value of a strong work ethic and valuing money. By early adolescence, my father required me to save half of my earnings, stressing, “Buy once; buy good.” This discipline shaped my respect for finances and laid the foundation for my later independence.
Later in his career, TWA was going to cut its workforce. His buddy, who had a family, was going to get laid off. My dad asked for his buddy’s job to stay on, and Dad took early retirement to keep him employed.
Dad left my mom when I was 14. I became very responsible very fast and bought a house when I was 18!
My mother suffered from lifelong depression. When I was 14, my father left home, and this most likely triggered the start of my mother’s fall into very deep depression. She was often found in bed for about three years.
Financially, my father continued to pay the bills, out of guilt, so I learned early about paying bills. Eventually, my mother overcame her depression without medication and found a job close to home. Though my parents stayed legally married until my father passed away, they lived apart for decades.
I was very sick when I was a child. I had very bad asthma and was unable to go outside. It was my mom who stayed inside with me and played numerous card games and Scrabble, just to keep me engaged so I could feel somewhat normal.
Through all of her struggles, we never doubted that she loved us very much.
Reconciliation and a Meaningful Birthday Card
I fondly recall my parents’ eventual reconciliation. Dad developed Alzheimer’s and was the sweetest man for those last three years. He and Mom became good friends.
On his deathbed, he surprised my mother with a birthday card, something he had never done in all their years together. My mother kept that card by her side until her own passing, a treasured reminder of his final gesture of kindness. For myself, this moment brought much-needed closure after years of tension.
Living Arrangements and Family Support
One highlight of my life was when my mother moved from North County to Fenton to be closer to Randy and me. My mother initially continued driving back to familiar shopping spots in Florissant, but eventually embraced the local community.
Randy and I also remember the relationship between our mothers, as they lived only a few doors apart. Their names were Laverne and Shirley, and they were the best of friends.
Faith Upbringing
I remember being dropped off at church as a child, although neither of my parents was deeply involved in church themselves. Later in life, my mother attended services with me and showed more interest in faith, while my father’s involvement was limited to occasional discussions about God.
Toward the end, each parent took more personal interest in spiritual matters, which provided me with some comfort since they’ve passed on. We both know that our parents loved us deeply, always provided for us, and did the best they could with what they had.
*Not employees of Cetera